Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
