I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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