she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
