allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
