butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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