he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize