mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
