The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she pinky promised me she was 18
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
