Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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