I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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