My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Pants are for mortals
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
