The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
