omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
