god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize