Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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