benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
