this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
