What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
