Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
