it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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