names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
