Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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