my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
