walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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