My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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