see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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