I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize