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whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My life is pants optional.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize