He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize