so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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