I seem to have left my pride at pride
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
