I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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