Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I am naked and annoyed.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
