somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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