Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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