I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
