People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize