but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
