She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
