I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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