Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
