Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
