Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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