So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
