Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
