i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize