we have officially mastered the walk of shame
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize