If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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