5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
