You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
