watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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