There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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