i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
