She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
