cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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