Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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