so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
