he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
