This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I cut my penus on the lid.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
