handjob tips. give me some.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
