youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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