do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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