Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize