wakey wakey hands off snakey
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
